Finally, a bumper sticker for BOTH political parties!
The hottest selling bumper sticker comes from New York State:
"RUN HILLARY RUN"
Democrats put it on the rear bumper,
Republicans put it on the front bumper.
day an Irishman who had been stranded on a deserted island for over
10 years, saw a speck on the horizon. He
thought to himself, "It's certainly not a ship."
And, as the speck got closer and closer, he began to rule out the
possibilities of a small boat and even a raft.
Suddenly there emerged from the surf a wet-suited
black clad figure. Putting aside the scuba gear and the
top of the wet suit, there stood a drop-dead gorgeous blonde!
The glamorous blonde strode up to the stunned Irishman
and said to him, "Tell me, how long has it been since
you've had a cigarette?" "Ten years," replied the amazed
Irishman. With that, she reached over and unzipped a
waterproofed pocket on the left sleeve of her wetsuit, and
pulled out a fresh pack of cigarettes. He takes one,
lights it, and takes a long drag. "Faith and begorrah,"
said the man, "that is so good I'd almost forgotten how
great a smoke can be!"
"And how long has it been since you've had a drop of
good Irish whiskey?" asked the blonde. Trembling, the
castaway replied, "Ten years." Hearing that, the blonde
reaches over to her right sleeve, unzips a pocket,
removes a flask and hands it to him. He opened the flask
and took a long drink."'Tis nectar of the Gods!" stated the
Irishman. "'Tis truly fantastic!!!"
At this point the gorgeous blonde started to slowly
unzip the long front of her wet suit, right down the middle.
She looked at the trembling man and asked,
"And how long has it been since you played around?"
With tears in his eyes, the Irishman fell to his knees and sobbed,
"Sweet Jesus! Don't tell me that you've got
golf clubs in there too!!!!"
This is fascinating ...
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Raelly amzanig huh?
WORLD'S EASIEST QUIZ
(Passing requires 4 correct answers)
1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?
2) Which country makesPanamahats?!
3) From which animal do we get catgut?
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?
7) What was King George VI's first name?
8) What color is a purple finch?
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?
10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?
All done? Check your answers below!
ANSWERS TO THE QUIZ
1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?
2)Which country makesPanamahats?
3)>From which animal do we get cat gut?
*Sheep and Horses
4)In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
5)What is a camel's hair brush made of?
6)TheCanary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?
7)What was King George VI's first name?
8)What color is a purple finch?
9)Where are Chinese gooseberries from?
10)What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?
*Orange, of course.
What do you mean you failed?!
Boudreaux been fish'n down by de bayou all day an he done run outa night
crawlers. He be bout reddy to leave when he seen a snake wit a big frog
in this mout. He knowed dat dem big bass fish like frogs, so he decided
to steal dat froggie.
Dat snake, he be a cotton moufed water moccasin so he had to be real
careful or he'd get bit. He snuk up behine de snake and grabbed him roun
de haid. Dat ole snake din't lak dat one bit. He squirmed and wrapped
hisself roun Boudreaux's arm try'n to get hisself free. But Boudreaux,
him, had a real good grip on his haid, yeh.
Well, Boudreaux pried his mouf open and got de frog and puts it in his
baitcan. Now, Boudreaux knows dat he cain't let go dat snake or his gonna
bite him good, but he had a plan. He reach into de back pocket of his bib
overhauls and pulls out a pint a moonshine likker. He pour some draps into
de snakes mouf.
Well, dat snake's eyeballs roll back in his haid and his body go limp.
Wit dat Boudreaux toss dat snake into de bayou. Den he goes back to
A while later Boudreaux dun feel sumpin tappin' on his barefoot toe. He
slowly look down and dare dat water moccasin was, with two frogs.
"Men are like fine wine, they start out as grapes and it's up to
women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something
acceptable to have dinner with."
Well, now......here's something I never knew before,
and now that I know it, I feel compelled to send it
on to my more intelligent friends in the hope that
they, too, will feel edified.
Isn't history more
fun when you know something about it?
Giving the Finger
anticipating victory over the English, proposed to
cut off the middle finger of all captured English
soldiers. Without the middle finger it would be
impossible to draw the renowned English longbow
and therefore they would be incapable of fighting
in the future.
This famous weapon was made of the
Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was
known as "plucking the yew" (or "pluck yew").
Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English
won a major upset and began mocking the French by
waving their middle fingers at the defeated
French, saying, "See, we can still pluck yew!
Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult
to say, the
difficult consonant cluster! at the beginning has
gradually changed to a labiodentals fricative 'F',
and thus the words often used in conjunction
with the one-finger-salute!
It is also because of the pheasant
feathers on the
arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic
gesture is known as "giving the bird."
And yew thought "yew" knew everything.........
I am in the hospital now I have no need for my digital camera anymore. If you
want to buy it let me know.
I have attached the last picture I took with it to show the quality of photos it can take.
woman went to the doctor's office. Where she was seen by one of the
the new doctors; after about 4 minutes in the examination room she burst
out, screaming as she ran down the hall.
An older doctor stopped & asked what the problem was; she told him her
story. After listening, he had her sit down to relax in another room. The
older doctor marched down the hallway to where the 1st doctor was &
chided him saying "What's the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years
old, she has 4 grown children & 7 grandchildren & YOU TOLD HER
The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard & without looking up
said, "Does she still have the hiccups?"